now my nude modeling career is shot!

Ahhh nursing.... Such a good bonding experience with your baby. You feel close to your baby and know you are providing the best nutrients he or she needs. I wanted that - I really did this time.

I had nursed Matthew without giving him a bottle until Saturday night. Today (Thursday) he is only on bottles. Last Thursday I went to my OB because my left breast was very painful and I thought I had mastitis. Mastitis is a breast infection that usually clears up in 24 hrs after taking antibiotics. So I got antibiotics and was excited that my pain would go away.

On Saturday night my pain was so bad in the left breast that I had to stop nursing him and just pumped it. He nursed only on my right side.

On Sunday I went to the emergency room. Something was not right. My pain was excruciating. The internet (source of all that is good) told me I should have been better in 24 hrs after taking the antibiotics. The emergency room didn't know what to do and told me to go to my OB on Monday.

So I went to the OB on Monday and he said it was an abscess and I should go to the breast surgeon to have it drained. Yea!!! I could have this pain fixed. I was so happy. The breast surgeon looked at it and said it was too deep. I would have to have surgery. What???

My surgery was scheduled for Wednesday. On Tuesday the abscess broke open and was leaking blood and pus. That was not fabulous. I could not nurse on the right side on Tuesday since if he barely touched the left side with his little legs or hands, it caused miserable pain.

I was put under twilight sleep on Wednesday (which was pretty cool by the way) and had my surgery. It is a big gash in which I will have to change the dressing twice a day until Monday when he will stitch it closed. I can not shower or bathe until then so I'll be pretty stinky.

Now I'll have a scar and can no longer be a nude model. Bummer since this really was a career goal of mine :).

The real problem is that I will not be able to nurse the baby. This is something I've wanted all three times and never had. I had three weeks of nursing which is better than 0 though. I should look on the bright side! Another good thing is that my friends have been pumping milk for Matthew so I haven't had to give him formula. Thank God for that!

75 points on quiddler today!